In and Out

Outside my window,

I saw dreams

Inside my door,

I saw nothing but misery

Outside my life,

I laugh about big things

Inside my life,

I cried over a small things

Outside you,

Theres an honest guy who cant even lie a single thing 

Inside you,

I know right at that time that I dont really know you at all..

Coffee Shop

I drink this coffee latte and spit it out

"We better broke up!"

Your smile suddenly lost

Your face suddenly faint

Yes, I finally said it

to you,

the one who makes me cry all day and night..

Jokes from Fate

Diamond

Pearl necklace

Red stiletto

Black dress

I was longing for every stylish stuff in the world

Without knowing that everything beautiful hide its ugly side

Everlasting love

People who’ll trust you so much

Happy marriage

I was longing for happiness

Without knowing that happiness only come when everythings already fall apart

Blue sky

Bright sun

Cold grass

I was longing for peaceful mind

Without knowing that we will never be peaceful unless we die

Mom

Dad

Sister

Brother

I was longing for my family

Without realizing that the only one left from my family is me

Alone

Suffering

Dying

Without knowing  that someone who sit beside me in the train going somewhere to suicide

What a joke from fate

I do what I wanna do, I dont care about you!

Finally Im at ease now

Because maybe tomorrow I ain’t open my eyes,

So today I smile, breathing the air full of happiness and lay down with someone I love, looking at the bright and clear sky above us.

Because maybe its the last thing I do before God took me away, who knows?

Im so at ease now

Because maybe I will live for a hundred years,

So today I do what I must do

Things I like, Things I always adore, Things I never even think to make it come true

Because maybe its the first step for me to live my life for a long time in the world, who knows?

I feel so relieved..

I want to write about my sucks life

I want to write something

But Im afraid I might broke in and realize that I already did something stupid

I want to write about my life

But I got an uneasy feelings I couldn’t describe, so I ended up writing about other peoples ugly side

I want to be honest

But I know once I tell people whats really inside me, I can’t stop hurting them

I dont want to be like this, too

Just now, I feel so desperate

I cant even tell my story, my problems and my situation to anyone

I keep it for myself

It’s very frustating

But then my easy-going attitude tells me that it will be fine

It’s alright, everything’s gonna be alright

Because life always like that

It betrays you sometimes

Or you betray life, you’ve gotta choose

Well,

I dont know what I really want to do yet

I dont want to ended up just like other people do

I gotta feeling that I have to do something much more important than just study, working or married and build a family

Im not like other people, I knew it right away, ever since I was a kiddo

Im  different

I have to do something to fill a hole in my heart, so I could feel at ease

Whatever I did until now doesn’t fill that hole completely

I have to found it

I have to found which way God will bring me to enlightment

I have my own choice for my own life, no one’s allow to interfere with it!

Moon of Rosalina Amanda

Mereka bilang Bulan dalam bahasa inggris itu "Moon".

Bagiku Bulan dalam bahasa inggris 

adalah "Courage."

adalah "Friends."

adalah "Share."

adalah "Enjoy."

adalah "Reliable."

adalah "Capable."

adalah "Trustworthy."

adalah "Sister."

adalah "Partner."

adalah "Foolish."

adalah "Fun."

adalah "Easy-Going."

She's the one you cant leave without smiling.

She's the one you cant talk without laughing.

I say, Moon is great.

But Moon of Rosalina Amanda is the greatest of all. 

Lets have a long and happy friendship! :)