Dont Talk About God

Lets talk about God

Your God or my God doesnt even matter

Lets talk about God only

God without any judgement, predicament or even any attributes

God with no name

God with no number

God with no tragedy

God with no history

But is it possible?

To talk about God in such a peaceful manner?

When everything happens in the world right now seems to happened under the name of His Power,

His Loyalty

And His Remembrance

Humans are so weak

Impudent

Impatient

Immature

Eaten by their own greed of believing whats right and whats not

People raise their hands, acting like God himself

Just assasinate the termites!

This world has to be the place to proven the absolute truth!

And what is the truth?

Who are we, this ungrateful humans, determined to proven such a bigger knowledge than us?

To stop this world from rollin into complete destruction is almost impossible

Even the most beautiful life a human could have must come to an end, at last

This earth, this life, this kind of conversation we had on the internet must come to an end,

Somehow, somewhere

The hatred between believers

The innocent blood spilled on the road

The war pretending as God’s facade

What was it for? For whom? To who’s satisfaction? To what importance?

Theres no use of speculation

It’s merely an opinion

Thats been spoken or written by the same weak heart and mind like us, by a merely human

Why would human determination led us to our own extermination?

Why would we, human, that attracted to taking each other’s lives?

Who are we? This merely pathetic existent

To talk about God right now, right at this time,

is painful to me.

Your God and my God has been humiliated and stained

We, humans, make God looks like an unforgiving and bloodthirst entity

When God is the one who created such an adorable baby we once were

When God is the one who created such a loving parents for us

When God is the one who let us met with the love of our life

When God is the one who let us live a colorful life and to breath upon this earth

We all are the living proof of His gentle and kind attitude

We are the living proof of His never ending love and forgiveness

So whoever you all are creating this mess upon this earth,

Please, I ask you sincerely,

Dont talk about God like that

In that kind of way

Doesn’t even matter if your God and mine are different in names, number, tragedy, or history

Doesn’t even matter what your hidden purposes is

Your God and my God are a God

And God is good.

Goodbye XXX

This essay is inspired by the writer’s true feelings

For him who shaken my heart, once.

If you need me, Im just one call away.

I woke up this morning,

Only to realize that not even a trace of your scent left in my bed

Not even our photograph inside my phone

Not even our laugh

Not even our idea and dream

How cruel time is

Robbed away my precious feelings

And how cruel you are

Left me behind like a broken china vase

You did nothing to fixed anything that fell apart between us

I was mad at first

We shared every hope, dream, every stories that happened in our life

I knew never in my life I’ll met someone like you again

You owned my respect, my attention and my feelings

Until this day, I couldn’t grab any reasonable reason

of why we grew apart

You just dont seem like you used to be

Maybe you grew tired of me

Or maybe your fear of lovin’ someone like me has took you away at last

Im just a friend, a very good one

An idealist, a smarties, a red flower grown in a desert

But never a type of girl you want to be loved

You see?

I know you just like the back of my hand perfectly

Why?

Because maybe I was hoping that we could end all of these perfectly

Hey, you

Should I pick what’s left between us?

Although you dont seem to care

Although you will runaway again

But this hands trembling hard

Tryin’ to do the impossible is not possible

The many years apart has healed the torn heart

I am ready to fly in a new world of challenge

Im sorry I leavin’ you behind

Maybe I am the one who left first, after all

And all I felt was a slice of regret

Of not havin’ you beside me

Of lettin’ you down the slope

All the way around the hill

Into your own complicated life

Im sorry I couldn’t saved you at the time

One of us has to say sorry

In honour of what once happened between us

Just so all that won’t ended up in vain

Vanish into thin smoke like other meaningless things

You know?

 I still treasure you

Although it’s all in the past

And we both have to move on as far as we can
To fulfilling the goal of our DNA as you said

To reach our purposes of living

To really understand why we both met and then separated

I woke up this morning,

Only to realize that you came in my dream again

I dream of your scent, your laugh

I dream of what now really remains between us

Memories

of once happy and innocent times.

Welcome to Adulthood

At some point, I really hate myself

I despise my own way of writing and drawing

I found my own dreams a hassle

And I get really tired chasing a fallen stars just to make wishes of something that looks oddly impossible

People claimed they knew me best, that Im capable of everything

They jealous of me

They wants to be me

What would they know, when what they really know about me is just a side I chose to shown?

I am no other than a clown

Pretending to be some sort of a happy person

A smart, skillful and sociable one

When actually Im not even an inch of that description people thought about me

Who am I deep down inside

Which song is played over and over in my mind

What kind of loneliness trapped me in

Where will I go next in the future

Nothing goes well, nothing goes as I want it to be

At some point,

I really do hate my own words, my own advice, my own idea

They are so plain, so empty, so fake

Im so disgust by my own existence

I lost hope

I lost will to dream

I lost my wits, passion and obsession

I lost it all and become hollow

A hollow clown

And thats how we all matured

Thats how we all become adult

Welcome to the reality.

Modern Family

No need to argue

In this Modern family, ego is the parents, ignorance is the child and money is the bliss

Living in harsh reality, the parents diggin’ gold everytime, without rest, without smiling, without knowing how much their child grown

Living between suspicious neighbor, the child develop a crippled personality, lacking social ability, indifferent towards the world and all that comes in it

They listed as a one blissful family in the certificate,

Bound by luxurious 4-room-condominium in a famous metro city

-although there’s no one on the dinner table

And an enormous 4-wheel-jeep that exists only for public display

-although they never sit together in it

These Modern family living among us all

Mr. Modern Ego and Mrs.Modern Ego working beside you all

Modern Ignorance walk past your store when they go to their school

The Modern family keep gettin’ bigger

Their community spread far and wide despite the religion nor the nation

The Modern family will soon be your neighbor, too

The Modern family will soon be yours, too.

Ignorance

You never knew or neither you even care

I’ve never liked chocolate, jewel or even mainstream music

I’ve never into skirt like any other girl in love out there

I’ve never pushed you to bought me such an expensive gift or even dinner

You never knew the real reason of why I dye my hair blonde,

Is because of my never ending obsession with Axl Rose the legendary rockstar

And not because of some stupid korean fever

You never knew that black and everything tacky is my almighty color,

Whereas you often gave me a bright pastel color

And dressed me in frill and silk ribbon

You never knew that I always attracted to risk and challenge

That I really loves bad but not terribly wrong attitudes

And sometimes broke the rules just because I get bored

You never knew that what I longing the most from life

Is the freedom in every corner I go

And the bits by bits problem that shaped me to what I am today

You never tried to saw behind the outer layer of my skin

You never tried to really understand me

-          You never really love me

Do you?

Hortensia

Hortensia, O’ Hortensia

Now you’re old and full of mold

Begone all the rage and mirage from the past

Shall we dance while the song lasts?

O’Hortensia

I ain’t young, neither do you

What happened between us, O’Hortensia?

Those beautiful days with no name

Just reminded us of the one to blame

Is it you? Is it me?

Hortensia, why do you cried?

Is it me? Or is it him?

Hortensia, dont you know I’ve tried?

O’Hortensia,

Im tired

Lonely

And hurt badly

-          Hortensia,

Did you ever felt happy?

Beside me? 

Party for Rebecca

Rebecca

This year she’s turnin’ 16

Yes, this Rebecca

Our dear Rebecca

Our lonely Rebecca

Let’s celebrate!

A pink party!

Lots of fluffy marshmallow inside the cake, 
a twistin’ straw in our glass

and a handsome prince for your castle!

Rebecca?

This is your birthday

You won’t be lonely anymore

You’re turnin’ 16!

          



            - We threw him off the hole

              Where our dear Rebecca sleep tight

             Forever -